WELLBEING - Wish You Or A Loved One Could Change?

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Summary - 

Ever wondered why you continue to do the things you do despite wanting to change? Believe it or not, there’s an explanation for this and fortunately, knowing and understanding the 4 Stages of Behavioural Change is the first step in empowering you to regain control. 

Things I Mention - 

  • Why it’s impossible to help someone who isn’t ready for help, yourself included!

  • The difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation and what this means for you. 

  • How long it generally takes for any amount of change to take place. 

PLUS, I give you useful tools to see you through a relapse and help you get back on track. 

Links & Helpful Resources - 

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Have you ever tried to help someone or try and persuade someone that you love to change their ways, only to feel like you’ve potentially stepped out of line or worse yet, added more fuel to the fire? Maybe you’re the one that wants to change but despite wanting to change, your daily behaviours suggest otherwise … it can be frustrating I know!! 

There’s a concept though that I want to teach you today which I hope will help alleviate that frustration or at the very least, help you to understand why it’s impossible to help or force change when you’re not quite ready for change - it’s all got to do with the 4 Stages of Behavioural Change. 

I think it’s important to understand the way in which we go about changing our health or lifestyle behaviours. The Stages of Change is a journey that everyone takes at some stage of their life - often multiple times throughout their life. 

The Stages of Change shows that for most of us, a change in behaviour occurs gradually, with a person moving from being disinterested, unaware or unwilling to make change (otherwise known as pre-contemplation), to considering a change (otherwise known as contemplation), to deciding and preparing (otherwise known as preparing), to making the change ( otherwise known as action). Some people may move quickly through these stages, others more slowly and may remain ‘stuck’ in a stage and some may even skip or repeat stages throughout the process.

If you are in the precontemplation stage, you are simply not ready for change in the foreseeable future (usually around 6 months). You may have given up or accepted your current situation or may even feel immune to the dangers of being inactive. You may have tried exercise or countless programs in the past but found yourself disheartened due to lack of results. 

Moving forward, the contemplation stage means that you’re now beginning to think about changing your habits, usually within the next 6 months. At this stage, you may start enquiring about ways in which you can change your habits for the better. You may be weighing up the benefits and costs of a proposed change and may still feel undecided because ‘staying within your comfort zone’ or ‘continuing as it’  is the easier option. You may also feel a sense of loss at leaving your old lifestyle behind despite any perceived gain. What if you won’t be fun anymore? What if people think I’m different? What If I’m no longer the life of the party? 

Preparation is where you now mean business. You’re ready to change within the next month. You may have joined the FEEL BE LOOK Instagram account to suss it out and see what's involved. In this stage, the factors you are now considering before moving into action are time, equipment needed, clothing & your ability. During this stage, goal setting is a great way to progress through to the next stage and I’ve recorded an entire episode on how to set goals and actually achieve them so if you feel that you’re currently in the preparation stage (being the start of a New Year and all), ensure you also listen to Episode #6.

The final stage is action and what ensures a person continues to take action until an action becomes a habit - motivation!! 

There are 2 ways to feel motivated and depending on your personality and how you honestly feel about the changes you’re making, will generally determine which type of motivation you experience. Motivation can be internal (otherwise known as intrinsic) or external (otherwise known as extrinsic). 

Most people if they’re in either the preparation stage or the action stage will usually continue to move through into the maintenance stage if they are driven by some sort of external motivations. 

External motivation means that we do something not for the sake of inner fulfilment (because we want to), but to gain a reward or avoid a punishment. It's often that you don't want to do something, but you must or know you should do it. 

External motivation can come through education - reading/ listening to podcasts, by actively participating - commenting, praising others, sharing your small wins, by joining challenges or competing, money or rewards may motivate you - treating yourself with small rewards like a café breakfast after a week of healthy eating or new workout clothes after a month of consistent exercise. 

Maintenance is the final stage of behavioural change. This stage takes around six months to develop and adhere to and is needed to turn a behaviour into a habit. It’s not uncommon though to recycle through the other stages a few times to become established at the maintenance stage. Exercising purely because you love it starts to grow and soon becomes a form of internal motivation as the physiological effects of exercise become glaringly obvious within your life. 

Goal setting becomes important once again at this stage. Intrinsic motivation has been established and you now exercise because you enjoy it however your arousal level (which is your level of interest) is key to keeping up that internal motivation - a great way to stay on top of your arousal level is by implementing small, incremental challenges for yourself or by changing your environment or scenery. 

Now I’m going to chat about relapse here, which as most of us know, is inevitable. In life, things get in the way and can knock you off track - injury, sickness, holidays or work. This is a normal part of the process through change. You may find that you feel disappointed or embarrassed. At this stage, communication is important to get you back on track. Be honest and reach out to someone for accountability and support. From here, you can set new goals together ensuring that these new goals are much smaller than what they were during the action/ maintenance stage. 

Journaling is another great way to confront any barriers/ excuses that keep popping up for you and blocking you from moving up in the stages of behavioural change.

I hope through sharing the 4 Stages of Behavioural Change with you today that you may have been able to self-diagnose where you or a loved one might currently be and understand now that it’s not all doom & gloom. You are not “stuck” or left having to feel a certain way for the rest of your life. Change is possible but there’s a heavily studied process or path that you’ll need to walk to get you there.

Elisha CasagrandeFEEL BE LOOK, Brisbane Health Coach, Womens Confidence, Goal Setting, Self Care, Stages of Behavioural Change, Human Behaviour, External Motivation, Extrinsic Motivation, Internal Motivation, Intrinsic