Ask Elisha - How Do I Stop Procrastinating/ Putting Things Off?
Procrastination is the misregulation of emotion. Despite what most people think, including my former self, procrastination is not a time management problem at all
Understanding this completely changed how I help & support clients that are prone to procrastination because what starts out somewhat harmless, can easily creep into other areas of life, such as health and wellbeing. When procrastinating does start to negatively impact your life, taking proactive steps to change your ways is crucial because over time, it will do you more harm than good.
Someone who puts off movement/ exercise may notice this then rolls into the next day, the next couple of days, the next week or even the next few months. That first initial procrastination starts out somewhat harmless but continue to procrastinate and it will add up and compound in a negative way.
When somebody procrastinates, they know that they are doing it. So saying things like - “just do it” or “just get on with it” can be quite unhelpful and sometimes more harmful to the person who is procrastinating. They already know they're not doing the thing so feeling any additional pressure to suck it up or get on with it, creates a lot of psychological but also physiological stress within the body and this is where things get juicy because - it is impossible to recruit willpower when you are in a state of stress therefore this pressuring results in the exact opposite of what you're trying to achieve by “encouraging” that person to do it. So believe it or not, just f*cking do it is almost certainly not the answer or solution.
There are 4 main reasons you procrastinate -
1. You are unhappy with what you’re doing
If your employer gives you a task to do which you’ve done a few times before but you know there’s a better way of doing it, you are more likely to put that task off because you know it isn’t the most effective or most efficient use of your time.
If you’ve encountered this one before, spend more time in silence without distractions. This will help any new ideas or solutions come to mind. Trying to force yourself to do something when you're not making as much progress as you would like will lead to further frustration and more paralysis. Worse still, it will only add to that state of psychological and physiological stress, so give yourself some time & space.
2. You are being a perfectionist
I say this is in the nicest possible way because I too am a recovering perfectionist. At the crux of this one is the fact that if you can't do something perfectly, you will put it off for as long as possible. Perfectionism typically stems from a fear of not meeting or being able to achieve a goal, which often conjures up feelings of unworthiness, which is a really difficult emotion to process.
If you’re prone to this, deadlines are an absolute must. A deadline reduces the nit-picking and the overanalysing and forces you to practice progress over perfection. So set yourself a deadline and stick to that deadline. Don't push it back thinking an extra few days or weeks, might allow you to perfect it. Nothing is perfect. In fact, anything you put out into the world will never be perfect because your idea of perfect may not be the same as somebody else. Practicing done is better than perfect is best for you.
3. You feel overwhelmed
A lot of people feel overwhelmed in 2023, especially when it comes to health and fitness. To overcome and work though this, skip the first step. Think of the thing you’re procrastinating about like a puzzle, not a straight, linear line. There's a number of steps you need to do, but there is no order, there’s no Step 1, Step 2, Step 3 etc.
From here, start with the thing you know how to do, want to do or find the easiest to do first. This builds momentum and action leads to motivation. Once you start doing the thing (even if it’s the smallest possible step in that process), momentum will build which will increase your motivation to do it. So start wherever you want to start and slowly but surely, you'll begin to piece together the puzzle.
4. You have low self-esteem
Having low self-esteem is not believing in your abilities and not trusting your knowledge or your instincts. It's constantly thinking and believing that others have the answers that you need. People with low self-esteem turn to others, perhaps their friends, family, or loved ones to reaffirm what they already know to be true for them. This may also come across as being indecisive or not confident in the decisions that you make because you don’t trust yourself to make those decisions.
If this one rings true for you, it's important you begin to develop trust in yourself which will increase your ability to succeed and decrease how often you procrastinate. Awareness is key here. If deep down you know the real reason you’re avoiding doing something is because it might make you feel awkward, out of control or make you look stupid, pick the part you're somewhat familiar with and start there.
Similar to the strategy used for overwhelm, take the task itself and break it down into smaller, bite-sized pieces that you find more manageable and that you trust yourself to do and begin with the piece that you enjoy or feel confident to do the most.
Say you want to launch a podcast …
There are a lot of steps involved in launching a podcast, which for many people could feel very overwhelming. If you’re more creative, it would be best for you to start with tasks like brainstorming your podcast name & creating your artwork. Skip the technical steps and get to work on the creative tasks first. This will increase your confidence and make the more technical steps easier & more enjoyable for you to do.
Now, say you want to do a workout …
I share workouts on Instagram and I’ll sometimes receive DM’s questioning one of the exercises I’ve chosen. Maybe the person doesn’t feel confident doing a particular exercise because they've not done it before or it looks a bit too challenging for them.
To this, I always encourage you to choose any other exercise you feel confident doing - one that targets similar muscle groups but isn’t that exact exercise. If swapping out an exercise, gets you on your mat and starting your workout, that's what you need to do. Take that circuit, break it down into pieces you enjoy and who knows, 10 to 15 minutes into the workout, you might attempt the exercise you were unsure about because you've increased your confidence and self-esteem slowly which matters most.
Have a question you’d like some help with? Please get in touch either here, by email (elisha@feelbelook.com) or DM me over on Insta @feelbelook.
Next month is all about cravings and how to reduce cravings during your menstrual cycle x