Why Do I Feel Lost, Unaligned & Unlike Me?
This may sound a little left field but from my experience, these feelings surface when life is not aligned with your core values …
Maybe self-care is lacking when deep down you know that prioritising time for you is something you really value?
Perhaps you're not setting strong, healthy boundaries with work?
Maybe you've lost touch with friends when those relationships do mean a lot you?
Ask yourself -
Does life right now not feel reflective of the things that mean the most to me?
It is so important when faced with any decision to lead and makes those decisions with your core values in mind. This helps you feel fulfilled and aligned in your life.
Here’s An Example -
Simon (my hubby) and I have very different core values.
He values money, so he is happy to accept any job provided it pays well. The job may not have flexible working hours or give him the luxury to pick the kids up from school, yet he’d happily do it for the rest of his life and feel content.
One of my core values is freedom. If I was offered a job with a large salary but the working hours weren't flexible or I couldn't work around my kids, I wouldn't accept it. If I took that job, within a few weeks (if that), I’d feel lost, unaligned and unlike me.
This is the importance of making decisions based on your core values, whatever they are for you!
What are your core values?
The best way to work out what your core values are is to ask yourself the following questions, then constantly ask yourself WHY. This will help you work out our main core values.
Example - It’s not uncommon for people to think that money is one of their core values. So, ask yourself - why is money important to me? There may be a stack of different reasons but let’s go with - I want to travel as much as I can. Then, ask yourself - why do I want to travel as much as I can? You might realise - because I love exploring new places, it makes me feel alive.
When you constantly question your WHY, you begin to understand that money isn't your core value, adventure is. Exploring and adventure is what you need in life to make you feel fulfilled, happy & satisfied and you can achieve that with little to no money at all.
Questions to get you started -
What is your favourite working experience and why? What about that experience made it a favourite for you?
Who is the most important person to you? What qualities do they have?
How do you like to spend your time and why? What exactly do you like doing?
If you could do anything at all right now, what would it be and why? Try and be as specific as you can.
What are the most important things to you right now and why? Is it buying a house? Travelling? Maybe a new hobby? Is it just being able to find the time for you to read a few pages of your favourite book?
Try to identify at least 3 main core values from your answers to these questions. You should see some reoccurring themes or similar answers that could be related to one main core value.
After doing this, you should have a better idea about some of the things you value. From here, take a good look at your life to see what’s not aligned. It’s often our job or our relationships that aren’t supportive of these values.
When life does not reflect the things that mean the most to you, it’s easy to feel stuck. You question everything, find it hard to be your best self, don’t attract the greatest relationships and you’re not as magnetic as you could be. To make things worse, you begin to lack purpose which is one of the hardest feelings to sit with. When life does reflect the things that mean the most to you, magic happens.